It is the best of times; it is the worst of times, to paraphrase Mr. Dickens. Worst of times may be stretching it, as I hardly think the first-of-the-month writing-reckoning can compare to getting your head chopped off in a revolution. But turning the calendar to the new month always seems like the best of times. Goal-setting giddiness is upon me.

Since I’m a very goal-oriented person, I use goals to achieve Fame and Fortune on my Road to Publication. For example, I may say to myself, “Self, you must finish at least one chapter of your book today. Then, and only then, are you allowed to leave this chair and take a shower. And maybe grab a Milky Way to eat along the way to bathing.”

Mr. Hall is not too keen on shower-taking being a writing goal. Come to think of it, the Milky Way goal doesn’t work very well when he’s around, either. But that is not the point. The point is the goal-setting. So getting back to that, the first day of the month is a time to check markets, when publishing hopes spring eternal! Unfortunately, that day coincides with my writing-reckoning.

To put it another way, that’s when I reckon I’ve been rejected. Sometimes it’s spelled out for you: “If you haven’t heard from us by (insert first of month date here) you can assume we have passed on your submission.”

Well, there’s no mistaking that one, is there? Other times, it’s a little wishy-washy: “We have so many submissions, we can’t possibly read them all, much less reply. If you still want to submit, please realize that you probably won’t hear from us unless you are John Updike. And even then, there are days when we are in a very un-John Updike kind of mood. Attention John Updike: You may hear something from us around the first of the month. Or not.”

Naturally, I submit. Because, like I said, I have goals to reach. And being rejected by at least 10 markets a month is (apparently) one of them. However, I also have a goal of being accepted by at least one market a month. When that happens, I treat myself to two Milky Ways (and possibly a nice leg-shaving in the shower).

If you look over to the right (No, no, not there. Keep looking till you find the HALL OF FAME. Those are links to places where you can read stuff by yours truly), you’ll notice the Neumann News. That’s a paper published by Saint John Neumann parish. At least, it was published. I’ve just returned from a meeting and the times, they are a-changin’.

I have a soft spot in my writing heart for the good old Neumann News. When my pen started stirring again after so many years, it was to the NN that I sent my first story. I didn’t know if my little Christmas essay would make it into the paper. I waited and waited till the December edition came out, tore through the pages, and there on the very last page was my piece about Advent traditions in the Hall house! I picked up extra copies and sent them to loved ones, whether they cared to get a copy or not. (Mostly, they did not.)

Ah, vanity. My name in print…that was all it took to get me hooked. I went to the next meeting and found out that anyone who sent in something legible would be published. They were lucky to fill the paper’s pages. Still, even with the bloom a little (okay, a lot) off the rose, I stayed through the meeting and agreed to write something for the January issue. That was five years ago.

Now I write every day, sending my stories out way beyond the corners of my little newspaper’s world. But that’s how it started. Maybe you wannabe writers following along out there can start on your Road to Publication with a paper like the Neumann News. Because there’s nothing like regular practice to get you in the writing habit. And a small paper is always appreciative of any talent willing to work for free. No, you won’t make a Fortune, but you will be famous. At least, in your neighborhood.

I hope our church paper will keep plugging away. There could be an Ernest Hemingway or Dorothy Parker out there right now, contemplating a story and wondering where to send it. I happen to know a great place to start.