What Not to Do Wednesday | Cathy C. Hall Writes

When those devastating photos from Nashville started popping up on the news, my little Southern heart started breaking. After all, Nashville’s right up the road from Georgia, and I’ve spent a fair amount of time visiting there. Somebody should do something, I thought. I guess Amanda Morgan, Victoria Schwab and Myra McEntire, all Tennessee writers, had the same idea.

It’s called Do The Write Thing for Nashville and if you have a Facebook page, you can follow these women and all the fabulous writerly prizes they’ll be offering in an auction to raise funds for Nashville and Tennessee relief efforts. So if you’ve been stalling on the Facebook thing, grasshopper, here’s a good and worthy cause to motivate you to join.

And speaking of good and worthy causes, every year in May, Brenda Novak gets hopping on her Online Auction to Benefit Diabetes Research. My big brother was diagnosed with diabetes about ten years ago, so I think about him when pondering prizes. Not that Big Brother cares one iota what wonderful writing goodies I bid on…or that Big Brother even knows I write, for that matter.
Um, I’m fairly certain Big Brother knows I live in the Atlanta area. But that is not the point here, grasshopper.

The point is that TONS of folks in the writing community have come together to raise funds for causes near and dear to me. And even if I’m not one of those scathingly brilliant writers who can offer my services, I can do something. I can bid on those critiques, or evaluations, or books offered by all those scathingly generous writers, editors, agents and publishers.

So, don’t sit there like a grasshopper on a blog, wondering what to do. Every little bid helps!

I told you I’d find that second page.

Quick and Painless Advice: Getting Humor Published in Magazines
(from the 20 tips in Mike Sacks’ book, And Here’s the Kicker)

19. “Most editors say they want more humor in their magazines, but not many do. What they really want is humor that they find funny and that they would write if they could, which they can’t, or else there would already be humor in their magazines. Consequently, you have to adapt your sense of humor to meet their sensibilities.”

(Brilliant point, Mike! But how, oh how, is the aspiring humor writer supposed to accomplish this brilliant feat? Oh, wait. There’s more to this tip.)

“It’s very difficult.” (Point well taken, Mike.) “So if and when you find an editor who shares your sensibility, marry, adopt, imprison, or do whatever it takes to maintain that relationship. The other approach is to skip the pitch and just write it. You don’t want to waste a lot of time waiting for an editor to evaluate the pitch. Just write it-either the editor will laugh or not.”

So, grasshopper, (I’m segueing into What Not To Do Wednesday now), don’t run around like a humor writer with his head chopped off, sending out subs with no rhyme or reason. If a market’s accepted your work, or encouraged you in any way, send another piece soon thereafter. Chances are very good that you’ll be accepted. It’s worked for me.

Conversely, if you’ve sent five humorous submissions to the same market, without a single bite, you may want to hold off on submission number 6. Also um, worked for me. (It’s not exactly painless or quick, but it is solid advice when it comes to getting your humor published in magazines.)