When Blunders Pay

So according to Merriam-Webster a blunder is a “gross error or mistake, resulting usually from stupidy, ignorance, or carelessness.”

I’d be a a very rich writer if I could earn money from my bucket o’ blunders. But maybe this time, I’ll get a blunder or two to pay off. Because Birds and Blooms is sponsoring a Backyard Blunder Contest. All I need to do is a. write 400 words or less about a funny birding or gardening blunder, b. send it in by March 15th and c. win the $500!

Easy-peasy. What may be a tad more difficult is really honing in on what a backyard blunder is. Because I’m not sure that picking up a hanging plant and throwing it three stories off our deck to make my point, could be classified, technically, as careless. Stupid, yes.  Hilarious, definitely. But there was no mistaking what I meant.

True Confessions on Valentine’s Day

True confession: I did not always want to be a writer. I was not one of those kids who scribbled stories all the livelong day. I was one of those kids who read stories. And books, poetry, comics, Mad Magazine and the back of the cereal box. I loved words; I ate ’em up like …well, sugar-coated cereal.

And I collected words, especially from songs.  Sometimes, it would be a single word (I learned “syncopation” from The Music Man) and sometimes, it would be a funny phrase (Like Funiculi, Funicula. I only know the English words to that song, but turns out it’s Italian. Who knew?). I kept all these words in my head until it finally ocurred to me that I could write them down. Then, when I needed a word lift, I’d go to my notebook and read a poem or a quote or sing my favorite song lyrics.

I cannot tell you how many times I sat, listening to the same song over and over again, so I could get every single word copied down. Or how I would have to pay overdue fines because I’d checked out a book of poetry and hadn’t written down all of my favorite poems. I’d tear lines out of our Reader’s Digest or scribble a phrase on a piece of paper.  Even now, I’ll write down a phrase or a line, or even a paragraph that pleases me, but I hardly ever tear something out of a magazine (Okay, that’s not true. But they’re my magazines, so it’s okay.).

And then, wham! The truth dawned on me today, as I was thinking of what to write on Valentine’s Day.  The longest love affair of my life has been with words. But honestly, the Beneficent Mr. Hall runs a very close second.