Tooting My Horn Tuesday: Deep South Magazine on Being Polite

Dadgum it!

I meant to tell all y’all about my essay in Deep South Magazine-and remind you to vote for your favorite Southern saying in the T shirt contest. Now, it’s too late to vote! But you can still check out the Southern sayings. (I sent in “Hush up,” which is just about as Southern as it comes. It didn’t get picked. Maybe the folks at Deep South thought I was telling them to hush up.)

Anyway, you may recall that Deep South Magazine was the Market of the Month-and I didn’t waste any time sending over my essay, “Being Polite.” I’d be tickled to death if you gave it a read. You can’t make these things up, as they say.

Well, you can. But in this case, I didn’t. When I was visiting with family last week, an argument of sorts broke out as we all remembered that evening differently. In the end, my version prevailed as the truth. Mostly. Which just goes to show, you can’t put a roomful of Southerners in one place without folks making a fuss. (Coincidentally, another Southern expression I sent in.)

So, how about you? Do you have a favorite Southern saying? I’d really like to know.

Honest to Pete.

Market of the Month: Deep South Magazine

Sometimes, the oak-lined road beckons and you’ve just got to skedaddle down it.

Which explains the market of the month, Deep South Magazine. They’re looking for all kinds of pieces, Southern-style. That means articles, stories, poems, and whatever else you can drawl on and on about.

AND, I have a writing buddy who had a story accepted. Good to know since Deep South is a relatively new magazine. And P.S., she’s not even Southern. So, you can’t use that as an excuse not to submit to this lovely market.

Time for this little Georgia peach to get on down that road to publication. And best of luck to y’all.
(Thanks to Hope Clark’s FFW for this tip, and stock.xchng for the photo.)

ABC’s of Errant Parent

I just realized that errant parent, an online site of parenting hilarity and fun, is celebrating its first year anniversary (Technically, I didn’t “realize” it as much as I was sent an announcement email.). And then I realized (and technically, here, I actually did realize as a thought hit me square in the head) that I had a little something something to say about errant parent. Allow me to enumerate, using that clever A-B-C device:

A. errant parent makes me laugh out loud. And yes, I know that it’s a humor publication, but not all humor makes me laugh out loud. Humor’s funny that way.

B. I suggested a humor-writing friend send her stuff to errant parent and she’s in this anniversary issue.

C. I am not.

D. Assuming a big, giant ball of gas doesn’t fall on the earth at the exact spot where errant parent’s editor resides, you’ll see my contribution later. In August, I think. Now, don’t go worrying. I’ll toot about it (no gas pun intended).

E. If you are a parent (like me), and err on a regular basis (like me) and you can write edgy funny stuff (you thought I was going to say “like me.” But I’m the humble sort. And the rejected sort-I had to work on the edgy.), you should consider submitting to this market.

F. errant parent is a paying market (Whee-whee-wheee!).

G. Support your local humor markets so they can continue to make me say Whee-whee-whee! (Oh, and by local, I mean available throughout the world on the web).

So, I believe that concludes this morning’s schooling on errant parent (except for here). I kinda thought my A-B-C list would make its points using the actual letters of the alphabet, but that seemed like an awful lot of work. And then around letter D., I realized I was not going to get all the way to Z. Or even M. I’m sorry if this has caused you any distress. On the other hand, I did a whole lot of realizing today, and I feel pretty good about that.

Finding Something Friday on Dogs, Agents, and the Holidays

I’ll bet that’s a group of words that doesn’t show up in a search engine very often.

Today, I was going to wax poetic about building blog stats, and Sparky, and burning a feed, and search engine-y things. But the truth is, I do all this stuff (like burning a feed of my blog) and I’m kind of hazy on the whole business. So, that would have been a very short Finding Something Friday. Instead, let’s take a look at Dogs and The Women Who Love Them (2009 True Story Contest).

We’re not talking about a crazy dog like Sally Hall ( notice how I found a pic of Sally wearing a holiday crown? Or at least wearing a crown, Sally-style.). We’re talking about a contest where the “stories should demonstrate the benefits for a woman who fulfills a life purpose by partnering with a dog to perform extraordinary physical, emotional, or spiritual service.” That kinda leaves Sally out. But maybe you and your dog fit the bill. Write the story, keep it under 2,000 words, and get it postmarked by September 30th. I still love my Sally dog, you know. But we’re kinda lacking in the “life purpose” thing.

Now, agents. I found Litmatch a few months ago, and made a note about it. But like many notes, it got sorta lost in the shuffle. Since today was a “clean up that mess over there” day (according to the Beneficent Mr. Hall), I found Litmatch again. Whee! It’s a free service which lists agents and agencies and allows you to track submissions to such (and gives information about all things agent-y, too). I haven’t signed up for it yet, but I made a note about it.

Now, on to the (Thanksgiving and Christmas) holidays. I found an email in my Inbox from the editor of Girlfriend to Girlfriend Magazine. She’s looking for articles about the aforementioned holidays, and she’s looking for pieces with a female slant. Oh, and she’s looking for a family slant, too. She has another magazine called Simple Joy, so I think she has lots of slots to fill. And she’ll pay you a small honorarium. You know, it was a very l-o-n-g email, so I might be forgetting something. Well, you can email me if you need more particulars.

And if you know all the particulars on that business I was going to write about (like “why do I burn a feed of my blog and check subscribers, and what exactly does RSS stand for, anyway?”), you can email me about that, too.

Children’s Lit Bits: Starting Small Pays off Big

Here’s a little tip I read recently: Children’s magazines always need stuff like crafts, quizzes, and non-fiction ideas. But, of course, children’s writers like to write children’s fiction. There’s more money to be made in selling stories, right?

Well, yes and no. Because to get a story sold may take ages. Meanwhile, to get a craft or non-fiction article accepted may not take nearly that long. And you can build a relationship with an editor while you’re sending along all those sweet somethings that they need.

So, down the road, your sweet fiction is more likely to get a closer look. At least, that’s what I’m hoping. ‘Cause if you take a closer look at the envelope below, you’ll see “Highlights.” As in Highlights for Children Magazine. And that’s my CONTRACT I’m sending back! I sold a craft today and did such an extended happy dance that Mr. Hall threatened to hose me down.

So trying sending a craft. It may seem like a little thing, but just that little bit may make all the difference.